ENGL210 – Blog 1: Hamlet’s 2020 Soliloquy

Write a prose soliloquy in which you are Hamlet commenting on the world around you in 2020.

HAMLET: (sighing)

It’s bushfires and viruses and cunning toilet paper runs. It’s climate change and Trumpism and healthcare systems trumped by capitalism. It’s advertising fear and scrounging for hope. It’s the globe and the floorboards on this stage are wired with so much worry it feels as though we’re about to fall through, a feeling I’m afraid we’ve all heartily acclimated to.

In this month’s craze, we’ve all been struck down with terror of the plague!

We move through global emergencies like we churn through diet fads, reminding ourselves not to eat too much because we need to panic buy the rest tomorrow when, across the sea, others are starving. That’s dramatic irony for ya, eh?

The media sends the hordes into frenzied hysteria; I pity them honestly (I pity myself, too). But would we prefer a climate of oblivion or hyper information? Is there even a difference between the blur of too much and none at all? Perhaps the sea of news articles and broadcasts is some sort of blissful ignorance within itself. Perhaps we like to distract ourselves from our lives with the lives of everyone else – or more precisely, the lives of strangers in jeopardy and the lives lost inevitably.


HAMLET sneezes into his elbow and begins to wash his hands

Well, you learn to switch yourself off…fall asleep walking through these masked and crowded streets, trying to fade from the facts and the fear. To best describe it: you’re in a large pool with the rest of the world’s population and everybody’s drowning–helpless, flailing and floundering, delirious with panic from this perpetual doggy-paddle. But if you stop swimming, stop floating, you sink beneath the surface and find a weightless, purring calm. It’s pleasant; it is eerily familiar, like the womb before the knife to the belly of Banquo’s mother.

Sadly, we must all come back up for air one time or another and, by the time we resurface, the next apocalypse has tagged you and Kim Kardashian in its Facebook status.

HAMLET continues washing his hands, humming the tune ‘Happy Birthday’

Corke, Antonia. “53 Typing Error.” Flickr, Yahoo!, 1 June 2010, http://www.flickr.com/photos/49025049@N08/4660871378/.

Author’s Note – Further inspired by the sonnet readings in Week 3 & 4, this is my (clumsy, unlearned) attempt at a modernised sonnet. I’ve never written one before! Of course, I know I have not achieved the effortless world-building that Shakespeare produces through his work, but I do hope Ophelia’s 2020 does strike a chord with some.

OPHELIA: (humming ‘Happy Birthday’)

Our king! Here comes the poisoned president.
He is made of tall walls wreathed in white tar.
He mocks the woe of the poor immigrant.
Tower to throne to rainforest carpark.  

Oh, Ham*, will they win the next election?
We wait with baited* breath a few months more.
But the kingdom might have fallen by then,
When the Beer Plague coughs and clears the Coles store.

After hellfire, let’s be God’s good people,
Then pave our charred earth with fresh bitumen.
Let’s shout our neighbours a pint of Dettol,
Then steal toilet paper from our old friends

But this land fused with fossil fuels and faith
will one day find the soul it once did forsake.

*please note: the incorrect use of ‘baited’ is deliberately implemented for wordplay

*please note: A ‘ham’ is a an excessively theatrical actor. This is a nod to the ludicrous theatrics of the Trump Administration, the metatheatrical elements of Shakespearean tragedy and could be interpreted as Ophelia’s contemporised pet-name for Hamlet.

Works Cited

Bloomberg. “Exxon Cries Foul as Two Claims Dropped at End of Climate Trial.” StackPath, 7 Nov. 2019, http://www.industryweek.com/leadership/companies-executives/article/22028550/exxon-cries-foul-as-two-claims-dropped-at-end-of-climate-trial.

Hunt, El, and El Hunt. “The Story of Hong Kong’s Newest Protest Anthem.” NME Music News, Reviews, Videos, Galleries, Tickets and Blogs | NME.COM, 1 Oct. 2019, http://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/glory-to-hong-kong-about-the-protest-anthem-2552703.

Jones, Lea. “Léa Jones: Royalty-Free Stock Photos at Stocksy.” Stocksy United, http://www.stocksy.com/LeaJones.

McGregor, Kate. “Australia’s Devastating Bushfire Crisis in Pictures.” POPSUGAR Australia News, 6 Jan. 2020, http://www.popsugar.com.au/news/photos-australian-bushfires-2020-47068195.

Minter, Adam. “Deadly Virus in China Should Scare World Leaders to Action.” Bloomberg.com, Bloomberg, 22 Mar. 2020, http://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2020-01-21/deadly-china-coronavirus-should-scare-world-leaders-to-action.

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